Raccoon invasion!

It turns out that our friendly neighbors, a raccoon family, is responsible for cleverly disconnecting gas lines and sparkplug wires underneath Mom and Dad's van. This is not the first time that they have caused a bit of mischief around this house and I believe Mom is preparing for battle. The first round of combat might begin with chemical warfare. Red fox urine has just been acquired and is about to be implemented in the vicinity of the raccoon den. A guy from the store suggested getting smoke bombs that kill moles to drop in the den followed by covering the entrance to their home with dirt. If the raccoons must go, but need to get evicted humanely, what is to be done?

First, you must understand the raccoon... you must get into it's skull and figure out what would make a raccoon want to become a mechanic and try and work on the red van while everyone is asleep. Perhaps it's the encouragement of Grandma feeding them morsels of home cooked Chinese refuse. Is it the two week old soy sauce marinated chicken? Maybe it's the tasty tripe left over from the restaurant.

Tune it next time for the next episode in the saga of man v. animal. See the wonders of wild animals dancing in exaltation of free food and performances of elderly human worship followed by complex nocturnal manipulation of machinery.